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dragovianknightI have got to get better at the whole "enjoying myself" thing without the accompanying "self sabotaging into full blown depression" thing. (This is not just a matter of "I ruin fandom for myself". I ruin - deliberately, consciously strip the pleasure from - all sorts of things. I can't count how many vacations I have ruined because they are going to END so why shouldn't I start being miserable halfway through? I'm fairly certain my sister will never go on anything longer than a day trip with me again, because a miserable dragon is a passive aggressive dragon.)
So at some point today there will be icons. And if I want to make twenty Arcee icons, that is okay. And if I decide to freshly screencap my new Beast Wars DVDs and make icons from that, also okay. Because I should feel free to make myself happy without some weird sense that happy on my own terms is wrong.
Or maybe I will just watch cartoons and knit my sweater and enjoy myself that way. That's okay too.
Oh, oh, oh! One more thing. My green hair is fading at a rather alarming rate - I give it a week before I simply look over-chlorinated, I've already stopped getting the "OMG YOUR HAIR IS GREEN!" reaction - which leaves me facing the vitally important question: purple or blue?
So at some point today there will be icons. And if I want to make twenty Arcee icons, that is okay. And if I decide to freshly screencap my new Beast Wars DVDs and make icons from that, also okay. Because I should feel free to make myself happy without some weird sense that happy on my own terms is wrong.
Or maybe I will just watch cartoons and knit my sweater and enjoy myself that way. That's okay too.
Oh, oh, oh! One more thing. My green hair is fading at a rather alarming rate - I give it a week before I simply look over-chlorinated, I've already stopped getting the "OMG YOUR HAIR IS GREEN!" reaction - which leaves me facing the vitally important question: purple or blue?
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Date: 2011-06-19 05:31 pm (UTC)I approve-stamp enjoying shiny new fandom.
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Date: 2011-06-19 05:57 pm (UTC)My shiny new fandom is very shiny indeed; I don't know why letting myself just enjoy it must be so hard. Stupid brain.
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Date: 2011-06-19 05:59 pm (UTC)I also thoroughly approve of chillin' with some cartoons.
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Date: 2011-06-19 06:51 pm (UTC)The more laundry I do, the more "sit and knit and watch cartoons" appeals.
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Date: 2011-06-19 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-19 06:48 pm (UTC)