Oh, FFS

Aug. 23rd, 2009 10:40 am
dragovianknight: Now is the time we panic - NaNoWriMo (Default)
Cursed Mountain for the Wii

Product Features (bolding mine)

* Designed Specifically for the Wii
* Places the player in a realistic himalayan environment
* As players ascend the mountain , they will clearly see the summit in the distance, a looming reminder of their final destination
* Designed to mimic the physical aspects of sacred prayer rituals, mantras, and gestures of Buddhism, combat is compromised of gestures that release spirits from their curse
* Players climb to the top to discover the fate of their brother as well to stop the curse that's interupting Samsara - the Buddhist concept of reincarnation
dragovianknight: Now is the time we panic - NaNoWriMo (Cats - Disapproval Cat Frowns at You)
When I first read Reflections on Dragon Quest VIII, I was all "shiny!" over the existence of a really long, thinky blog post about my most favorite game in the universe.

And now the shiny has worn off and I'm just "ARRRRGGGHHH, MAXIMUM GENDER FAIL, ARRRRGHHH!"

It starts when we get to Jessica, who "is molded with the innuendo that Hori's DQ team loves--suggestive humor, but rarely anything explicit. Personally, she is about as asexual as they come, never showing romantic interest in anyone."

Yeah, Jessica, a good fuck will totally solve that little "grieving for your dead brother/only friend in the world" problem you have*. Forget avenging his death and saving the world; why you don't flirt more, huh? In fact, to be a real girl you should totally have hooked up at Alistair's funeral.

That was promptly followed with "I've always been amused by the stats of female characters in RPGs. Occasionally, there is the she-male brute like Alena from DQ4 or Ayla from Chrono Trigger, but those are exceptions to the rule. Females are like males with different stats tilts." and "So the females have to be tomboyish and are given powerful magic abilities, since that can hardly be protested. In hand-to-hand combat, they're just not going to be able to cut it alongside male warriors. So they're casting spells. Magic proficiency isn't supposed to mesh with what you see in the real world, irrespective of who the caster is. It's magic, after all!"

I will let those speak for themselves.

And then we get to Red: "Red is an unscrupulous feminist. She strikes out on her own in Cap'n Crow's cave, using Yangus' obvious affection for her to beat the party to the treasure. But her charade is stopped when Crow's apparition beats her unconscious. At that point it's time for a real rumbler like Yangus to step in and get the job done!"

Red is a thief. Of course she's going to use every dirty trick at her disposal to get the treasure for herself! If she had been a he, we'd admire his sneaky use of the party to clear the area of monsters.

Luckily, the game does have one real girl in Medea: "Unlike Jessica, she is the classical maiden. Consequently, she doesn't fight, nor is she dynamic--until the end of the story, she is merely a melancholy backdrop reminding you of the damage Rhapthorne has done."

Yeah, that. Raaaaaaage.


*Angelo: Even I would not be so crass as to suggest that as a solution to her pain.
Marcello: And yet, that doesn't stop you from pursuing her from the moment you meet.
Angelo: Well, I never said it wouldn't provide a temporary distraction.
dragovianknight: Now is the time we panic - NaNoWriMo (Default)
Over on Dreamwidth, elynross points us to amazingly faily quotes from the planning stages of Mammothfail The Thirteenth Child.

Here's a sample, for those of you who like the taste of bile rising in your throats:

...since there won't be any Native Americans to have already done a certain amount of prepping land for human occupation, nor to be exploited later.

Emphasis originally [personal profile] elynross's, but believe me, I'd emphasize it again if I could. Dear gods.

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